Our Scars

“And let me introduce Scarface. King of this section of the river. 600kg of croc. Age unknown, probably over 60. Best known for muscling his way into this territory, earning himself a mosaic of scars. Since that day, which no one now remembers, he’s kept order amongst the crocs. One of the spinoffs being more scars.”

I kept trying to peer and get a look at his legendary scars. Hoping he’d turn his head. But Scarface had other priorities; relaxing and enjoying the world around him.

Scars are fascinating. A testament to the trials we’ve been through and survived. Sometimes even thriving, as we’ve healed, adapted and grown from the experience. Hardened. Strengthen.

Then there are the internal scars. The ones which no one can see. The healing process can seem more abstract. Almost haphazard. Bumbling along at times. But deeper. More transformation. A different rite of passage.

It takes courage. Conscious awareness to turn, take a breath, fix your stance and face this battle head on. Some people decide to never enter this battle. It’s seems safer to run full pelt in a different direction or just ignore what’s going on. But we all know, deep down inside, that this tactic isn’t the best for the long term.

Just like with physical wounds, it’s unrealistic to think we’ll never get psychological wounds. Also just like with physical wounds, there must be a way which allows us to heal, adapt, grow, harden, strengthen, and thrive.

If you’re in a place at the moment with this battle raging around you, let me show you a technique to help you. Help you with the open wound which no one can see but you can feel intensely. Life giving blood flowing from you as you look for something to treat this wound. It can be a daunting experience realising you don’t have the experience, knowledge and expertise to deal with this type of wound (yet).

First, draw on that courage. Know that others before you have found a way. Now it’s your turn. This is one of my favourite, daily techniques to do when I find myself at war with any feelings, thoughts, beliefs or habits which seem to keep battling away inside me.

The Release Process

1. Scan your body and see where the feeling, thought or ‘whatever’ is.

2. In your mind acknowledge it’s there. Say “yes, I know you’re there” to it.

3. See if it has a shape or colour. It’s OK if it doesn’t.

4. Ask it “can I let you go?”

5. If you get a “no” or any resistance, ask it “what do you want for me?”

6. Then ask it “now I know this, can I let you go?”

7. Imagine a window or door above it. Then imagine the window or door opening. Let a little bit go, maybe one-tenth. Then a little bit more, in whatever way works for you. Maybe it’s flowing like a river or lava. Maybe it’s floating like dust. Or flying away like birds.

8. Keep letting it go.

9. Then let it all go.

Sometimes I also find it useful to ask it “what do you want me to do?” Have a play around and see what works for you. After all, you are the Chief of the Army.

If the battle continues you may need reinforcements. Seek out others who have been through a similar battle. See what strategies and tools they have. Find a professional in that field (I will be back 14th November if you’d like to book hypnotherapy sessions).

Intriguingly, I’ve found this technique allows me to skip the battle stage. Instead, I draw the Commanders and Generals from opposing sides together. Have a special council meeting. Grasp the understanding we’re actually all on the same side (my side). Discover the simplest solution. Then, with knowing nods of acknowledgement of a greater plan, everyone disperses. Returning to daily life. At peace. Just like Scarface, relaxing and enjoying the world around them.

Ahh…beautiful fan palms.

Something to think about...

“Scars are beautiful when we see them as glorious reminders that we courageously survived." - Lysa TerKeurst